What actually improves when you do this work
Your life doesn't just feel different, it operates differently.
This is a way to stop overthinking by teaching you how to calm your body down so you can finally hear your own inner voice and make choices that feel true to you, instead of just doing what everyone else expects.
The achievement treadmill stops. And then there's relief. You rebuild the idea of achievement.
This isn't about fixing one problem. It's about gaining awareness that changes your entire life: career, relationships, daily choices, how you feel in your own body.
What shifts for each persona:
The Competent One: Your life gets bigger, not smaller. You start trying things you might fail at without an identity crisis.
The High Performer: Achievements still matter, but they don't define you anymore. The dopamine hit is less intense because you're not using achievement to fill a void.
The Provider: You can prioritize yourself without crushing guilt. Caring for yourself doesn't mean abandoning everyone.
The Rational One: You access feelings you've been optimizing away. Logic has limits, and that becomes okay.
The Woman Who Learned to Serve: You reclaim what you actually want. You stop shapeshifting and start feeling like yourself.
This isn't a curriculum with predetermined milestones. But there is a logic to how awareness develops and it can't be rushed or skipped. If I start telling you that by week 3 you will feel this and that, that’s bullshit, you know that kind of promise is not true.
What Changes over Time
You can't see patterns when you're activated.
When your nervous system is running hot (second-guessing, catastrophising, stuck in your head) you're in survival mode. Survival mode is a psychological-development stage where your most basic needs need to be fulfilled. This is why mental health days don't help and achievements feel empty. You're trying to fix the wrong problem. In that state, everything feels urgent and you can't access the part of you that actually knows what's true.
So we start with nervous system regulation. Not because it's "calming," but because you need body-safety before you can see clearly. You learn what tension feels like in your body, where you hold stress, what calm actually feels like (many people have forgotten).
This is Layer 1: building the capacity to be present with yourself instead of immediately fixing or explaining.
You can't trust yourself when you don't know what "yourself" feels like.
Once you can see the patterns, you start testing decisions differently. Not "what should I do?" but "what feels like relief versus what feels like contraction?"
You rebuild trust in your body's knowledge. Decisions that used to take weeks become clear. You stop needing constant external validation. Your integrity becomes more important than your performance.
This is Layer 3: trusting what you know to be true.
Once your system calms, patterns become visible.
Patterns aren't the actions you do, that's what most people get wrong. Your patterns are the unconscious associations between trigger and response. The automatic link between "someone questions my work" and "I defend immediately." Between "I have free time" and "I fill it with productivity." Between "I feel uncertain" and "I seek external validation."
You start noticing how often you perform instead of being present. How often decisions come from "should" instead of what you actually want. How quickly you reach for the familiar response without choosing it.
These patterns were always there, but you couldn't see them while you were inside them. Now you can observe without immediately trying to fix. You start distinguishing between the voice of fear (loud, urgent, catastrophizing) and the voice of intuition (quiet, persistent, calm).
This is Layer 2: seeing what's been running your life.
The progression isn't about time. It's about depth.
Some people move through these layers in 6 sessions. Others need 12 or more. It depends on how disconnected you are from yourself, how activated your nervous system is and how much unlearning you need to do.
You can't skip layers. You can't optimize your way to awareness. The work happens at the pace it needs to happen.
What matters is your commitment to showing up, being honest, and sitting with discomfort instead of thinking your way out of it.
Each session is 60 minutes, conducted via video call or in-person in Rotterdam.
We start with your objective for the session. What's happening right now? What needs attention? If you don’t know your objective, that’s fine; that’s the start.
Then we move into reflection and body scanning, bringing awareness to what you're feeling, not just what you're thinking. This isn’t something mystical, it’s mostly you quietly sitting in your chair with your eyes closed, while I guide you with a few prompts.
I like to do a body visualization. This is where you invite me to see the parts of your inner world that need my attention. This is where we might find out what your intuition is saying to you. We test what it’s saying.
What a session looks like
A note on intuition: Your intuition isn't mystical. It's expert pattern recognition based on years of living in your own body. You've been collecting data about what feels aligned and what doesn't for decades. Every time you made a choice that betrayed your values, your body registered it. Every time you stayed in something wrong for you, your body knew. That's not woo-woo - that's embodied expertise about yourself that you've been trained to ignore. My work helps you access that expertise again.
Every session ends with something applicable: either an action you can take or a practice to notice between sessions. Most of the work happens between our meetings, when you're living your life and catching yourself in real time.
You're not given homework or exercises to complete. The transformation comes from awareness in action, not from following a prescribed routine. (That said, my articles are full of practical exercises you can use anytime - I give away a lot for free. But in sessions, we work with what's actually happening for you, not a worksheet.)
Layer 1: Turning-off the panic response
Body scanning and visualization to access what you're feeling
Recognizing when you're reactive vs. responsive
Learning what calm actually feels like (you've probably forgotten)
Sitting still with your body instead of immediately fixing or optimizing
What we work on in session
Layer 2: Pattern Recognition
Seeing patterns that were invisible to you (Johari Window framework)
Distinguishing fear-voice (loud, urgent) from intuition (quiet, persistent)
Noticing when decisions come from "should" instead of authentic desire
Observing patterns without immediately trying to fix them
Layer 3: Intuitive Trust Development
Checking decisions against your body's knowledge (what feels like relief vs. contraction)
Learning to trust what your body knows that your mind is still rationalizing away
We use decision-making frameworks (Gary Klein)
Coaching Packages
I offer three packages. Choose based on where you're starting from and how deep you want to go.
The Foundation Package is what I recommend most strongly. If you're just discovering my work, the Starter Package is fine. But let's be honest - if you've been stuck for months or years, 6 sessions won't undo decades of performing. You need the full journey.
Starter Package €1,700
6 sessions over 6-12 weeks
This is for you if:
You're already somewhat aware but stuck on a specific decision or transition. You need help distinguishing between fear and intuition. You want to rebuild trust in your own judgment.
This is NOT for you if:
You're deeply disconnected and exhausted (you need Foundation). You need relief today and can't wait 6 weeks to see shifts.
What you'll gain:
Nervous System Level: You'll learn to recognize when you're in reactive mode versus responsive mode. You'll be able to calm yourself in the moment without needing external validation or distraction.
Trust Level: You'll develop a practice of checking decisions against your body's knowing. You'll distinguish between what feels like relief (even uncomfortable relief) and what feels like contraction. You stop second-guessing every choice.
Foundation Package €2,700
9 sessions over 9-18 weeks
This is for you if:
You feel deeply disconnected from yourself. You're exhausted from overthinking and performing. You want long-term transformation. You're ready to do the full work.
This is NOT for you if:
You need relief today and can't commit to 9 weeks of deep work. You're not ready to stop performing and be honest about what you're actually feeling. You can't commit to showing up, even when it's uncomfortable.
What you'll gain:
Nervous System Level: You'll move from chronic stress and reactivity to being able to regulate yourself. You'll recognize activation states in real-time. You'll know what calm actually feels like and be able to access it without external intervention.
Pattern Level: You'll see clearly how often you perform instead of being present, make decisions from "should" instead of authentic desire, and seek external validation. You'll observe these patterns without immediately trying to fix them. You'll distinguish between the voice of fear (loud, urgent) and the voice of intuition (quiet, persistent, calm).
Trust Level: You'll make decisions with calm confidence. Your integrity becomes more important than your performance. You stop needing constant external validation. Values-aligned action becomes your default. You feel like yourself again.
This is the full journey through all three layers of the work.
Major Transition Package €3,900
12+ sessions over 12-24 weeks
This is for you if:
You're facing a major life transition (career change, relationship ending, identity shift). You have complex patterns that need time to unravel. You want ongoing support as you implement real changes in your life. You need space to move through the work without rushing.
This is NOT for you if:
You need quick answers today. You need certainty about outcomes before you start. You're not ready for your life to actually change.
What you'll gain:
Nervous System Level: Deep capacity for self-regulation that stays with you. You'll be able to self-soothe in high-stress situations. You'll recognize your patterns early enough to interrupt them. Presence becomes your default state.
Pattern Level: You'll see not just the patterns, but their origins. You'll understand how your adaptive strategies developed and why they made sense at the time. You'll be able to observe yourself with compassion instead of judgment. You'll stop performing your life.
Trust Level: You'll make major life decisions from a place of deep knowing. Your values and your actions will be aligned. You'll be able to say no without guilt. You'll prioritize integrity over achievement. The constant internal debate quiets. You'll report "feeling like myself" - not a version you think you should be, but who you actually are.
This package includes space for the inevitable setbacks and resistance that come with real transformation. Additional sessions can be added as needed.
Payment plans available for Foundation and Major Transition packages
What's included beyond the sessions
Even though each package lists specific session hours, I typically spend an additional 60-90 minutes around each session.
Before: 60 minutes reviewing your patterns, tracking what's emerging & preparing the session.
After: 30 minutes sitting with what came up & connecting dots you might not see yet.
Between sessions: I'll send you an email or give you a call when something clicks or when I sense you might need support.
I recommend weekly or bi-weekly sessions for momentum and integration. Most of the work happens between sessions when you're living your life and catching patterns in real time. The 60 minutes we spend together is the visible part. The rest is what makes the work actually stick.
Clear pricing
Pricing is transparent because it matters. These packages filter for commitment, yours and mine. When you invest significantly in your own transformation, you show up differently. You take the work seriously.
If you invest in your transformation as much as you'd spend on weekly dinners out, you'll commit and show up exactly like that, casually, when it's convenient. This work requires presence, honesty and a willingness to sit with discomfort. It's not easy. But it's what creates lasting change.
This is:
A partnership where you do the work and I’m your thought partner
Space to stop performing and start being present
Direct feedback on what I notice in real time
Learning to trust what you know to be true, not just what others confirm
What this is not:
A quick fix or life hack (because those don't exist)
A program with modules and worksheets (you're not completing a course, you're unlearning a lifetime)
Advice or strategy sessions (you've had enough people telling you what to do)
Therapy (though it can be therapeutic)
Ready to start?
If this resonates, the next step is a discovery call. This is a conversation to see if we're a good fit. I'll ask about what's happening for you right now, what you're hoping will change & whether this approach feels right.
You'll get a sense of how I work and whether my directness feels supportive. If it feels like a fit, we'll talk about which package makes sense and how to move forward.